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about

When I wrote this I was with a partner who wanted for me to move away from doing music full time. I didn’t disagree about what a flippant and measureless life it provides but I feel like lifers don’t really choose it. I’m the kind of writer who will wake up at 5 AM with an idea and to not wake anyone up will drive to a parking lot with a battery powered Casio and write a song in the car. I’ve tried to do a lot of other vocations. And I really don’t think my drive to create is stubborn or selfish. Because its not always cathartic or romantic. Its an impulse and I have zero impulse control. Its a hard thing to explain to someone who doesn’t have that kind of drive. I know that it is eccentric. But I’ve been doing it for 20 years. In the bones. Muscle memory. The best songs I’ve ever writ were in a van or a kitchen while a girlfriend slept. This song is about that I think. And a little about struggling with substance abuse. Also just wanted to orchestrate a string section. I was listening to a lot of Nico at the time.

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from CHAPTER 11: OUTTAKES 2007​-​2023, released December 28, 2023

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Leo London Portland, Oregon

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